3 faces of vulnerability

In my experience

vulnerability has 3 faces:

1. ENCOUNTER ~ moment of self-revelation, intentional or not

2. MEMORY ~ moment of self-revelation

revisited

3. RE-ENCOUNTER ~ with the one to whom you have revealed

Though not literally naked,

I often feel that way when I am most vulnerable.

I've been feeling vulnerable alot lately ...

and thankful for the wise women who surround me.

playing with words ...

Seems there is always a lesson to be learned ...

Here are a few I've learned from others:

DENIAL = Don't Even Know I Am Lying

FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real

BITCH = Being In Total Charge (of) Herself

FINE = F'd-up, Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional

and a few more I put together myself:

DON'T = Daring Oneself Not (to) Try

CAN'T = Cowardly Avoiding New Things

DOUBT = Digging One Under Before Trying

FAILURE = Freely Admitting Ignorance; Learnings Unrecognizable Regarding Experience

(when I should be working on something else!!!)

on bullying

I have been listening to the recent and all-too-often ugly accounts of bullying among school-age children. It has felt unbelievable to me, until yesterday ...

I went over to the high school behind my house to vote. It is a large building and I had to walk its long hallways to get to the gymnasium where the voting was taking place. I rounded a corner, took several steps and fell forward, landing hard on my knees and hands before ending-up in a prone position. I lay there for a few seconds, somewhat in shock. There was uproarious laughter from students around me. I felt embarrassed and a little afraid that I would not be able to get up.

I finally mustered the courage to crawl towards the wall and use it to steady myself in order to stand. I stood, pulled down my jacket, and walked on toward the gymnasium with the laughing students behind me the entire way. Not one person stopped to give me a hand or ask if I was ok.

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

From Elementary ...

{4th Grade and 1st Grade}

To College ...

All are BACKPACK READY

to take on a new year of study.

Blessings on a new school year!

The Guest House

the gatherer

I call her the gatherer.

As she walks through life

she gathers remnants of her experiences ~

some displayed with pride;

others with disappointment

Together they display her lived reality:

a bouquet of Life.

what i've learned this year ...

2009 was filled with learnings for which I am both Graced and Grateful:

• Beginnings and endings are equally difficult. • Each risk ventured results in some amount of freedom. • The “freer” I feel, the more I am able to trust. • The more I am able to trust, the safer I feel. • The safer I feel, the more I am able to risk. • Sometimes you have to act as though you’ve accomplished your goal in order to see the reality of its possibility. • I can be open and faithful to a process, even when it is uncomfortable or I disagree with a component, as long as I am able to use my voice and feel I’ve been listened to. • I don’t know how to ask for what I want or need but I am learning and practicing. • I am very hard on myself, holding myself to a high level of expectation; when I hold others to that same expectation, I am more often than not left disappointed. • When all is said and done, I am ultimately accountable to myself, who is the harshest critic I know. • I need to embrace and accept where I am in the moment, with all of the pain and discomfort that may entail, instead of wishing the past away and the future already here. • Feelings are just feelings, not judgments, and they do not make me right or wrong, good or bad. • Being overly concerned with others’ feelings and reactions can sometimes paralyze me from making decisions that choose life. • Intention alone does not equal effort. Good or healthy intentions cannot be successfully realized without honest will and desire. • Recognition is the first hurdle of the relay toward wholeness. • Behaviors give messages and have a purpose. • I often find it difficult and uncomfortable to accept the giftedness others see in me. • ART and CREATING are self-soothing forms for me to get in touch with what I haven’t words to express: my Inner Self. • My safe place is in the arms of God, regardless of whether or not I am able to recognize that Presence. • Because of God’s Presence, I am never alone in this process we call Life, no matter where it takes me. • It is the time spent concentrating on my goodness that makes my goodness recognizable. • Recognizing the good inside is a means of recognizing God and honoring the Divine within. May 2010 be equally Graced...