This is what I am feeling today!
Monday, January 18, 2010
G.R.A.T.I.T.U.D.E.
This is what I am feeling today!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
the good ... the bad ... and the ugly!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
what i've learned this year ...
2009 was filled with learnings for which I am both Graced and Grateful:
• Beginnings and endings are equally difficult.
• Each risk ventured results in some amount of freedom.
• The “freer” I feel, the more I am able to trust.
• The more I am able to trust, the safer I feel.
• The safer I feel, the more I am able to risk.
• Sometimes you have to act as though you’ve accomplished your goal in order to see the reality of its possibility.
• I can be open and faithful to a process, even when it is uncomfortable or I disagree with a component, as long as I am able to use my voice and feel I’ve been listened to.
• I don’t know how to ask for what I want or need but I am learning and practicing.
• I am very hard on myself, holding myself to a high level of expectation; when I hold others to that same expectation, I am more often than not left disappointed.
• When all is said and done, I am ultimately accountable to myself, who is the harshest critic I know.
• I need to embrace and accept where I am in the moment, with all of the pain and discomfort that may entail, instead of wishing the past away and the future already here.
• Feelings are just feelings, not judgments, and they do not make me right or wrong, good or bad.
• Being overly concerned with others’ feelings and reactions can sometimes paralyze me from making decisions that choose life.
• Intention alone does not equal effort. Good or healthy intentions cannot be successfully realized without honest will and desire.
• Recognition is the first hurdle of the relay toward wholeness.
• Behaviors give messages and have a purpose.
• I often find it difficult and uncomfortable to accept the giftedness others see in me.
• ART and CREATING are self-soothing forms for me to get in touch with what I haven’t words to express: my Inner Self.
• My safe place is in the arms of God, regardless of whether or not I am able to recognize that Presence.
• Because of God’s Presence, I am never alone in this process we call Life, no matter where it takes me.
• It is the time spent concentrating on my goodness that makes my goodness recognizable.
• Recognizing the good inside is a means of recognizing God and honoring the Divine within.
May 2010 be equally Graced...
Monday, December 21, 2009
one year later ...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
CHRISTmas Blessings ... and a pause
I shall be away for a bit ~ a pause that refreshes ...
Monday, December 8, 2008
Presenting this year's Baby Jesus ...
In my elementary teaching days, this time of year would be spent putting the final touches on the Christmas Play. Students from kindergarten through grade 8 would sing and tell and act out the journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus. When the time came for the baby to be born, Mary ~ played by an eighth grade girl ~ would be handed a real baby from behind. The role of Baby Jesus was sometimes played by a boy and sometimes played by a girl; it all depended on which student had the youngest brother or sister at the time! Thursday, December 4, 2008
waiting ...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Another "Quilts" Giveaway!

Saturday, November 8, 2008
Soulmaking ...
The art of soulmaking is taking our lives in our hands and – with all the love and discernment we can muster – gently whittling away the parts that don’t resemble the True Self. In spiritual whittling, though, we don’t discard the shavings. Transformation happens not by rejecting these parts of ourselves but by gathering them up and integrating them. Through this process we reach a new wholeness.Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The silent heart ...
Because it sees the Divine in all things
The silent heart is a listening heart
Because it seeks always to be increased
The silent heart is a peaceful heart
Because it has mastered the art of forgiveness
The silent heart is a restful heart
Because it has learned to be at home with itself
The silent heart is a selfless heart
Because it knows how to be truly grateful
The silent heart is a timeless heart
Because it lives in the moment,
The silent heart is a trusting heart
Because it recognizes its sustenance as Providence
The silent heart is a silent heart
Because it has experienced the grace of contemplation
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
ch-ch-ch-changes ...
~anatole france
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Everyone needs a little reminder once in awhile ...
You are goodness and mercy and compassion You are peace and joy and light.
You are forgiveness and patience,
a helper in time of need,
a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion.
You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth;
the greatest peace and the grandest love.
You ARE these things.
And in moments of your life you have known yourself as these things.
Choose now to know yourself as these things ALWAYS.
from Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The Beginning of a Spirituality ~ Part III
The Lilac SanctuaryThursday, September 25, 2008
The Beginning of a Spirituality ~ Part II
Thirty-plus years later my temple is housed in a sacred corner of my bedroom and continues to contain trinkets which represent my life, my love, my connections. Reminiscent of the altarcitos of Hispanic popular religion (small places common in many homes where Holy images and objects of meaning are placed), a simple mission style bookcase serves as my altar’s base upon which currently rest the following items: a small weaving from the altiplano or high mountainous regions of Peru; a candle; prayer cards and service programs containing small
photographs and prayers of eternal rest for two dear friends; a miniature earthenware container filled with pinches of dirt from 12 countries in which the Sisters of Mercy of the Americas minister and reside; a petite bottle of holy water from the shrine in Mexico decorated with a colorful image of Our Lady of Guadalupe; a little clay vessel given to me 26 years ago at my entrance ceremony; a piece of stone etched with the words Be still and know that I am God; the crude clay bird hand-fashioned during a retreat; a piece of weathered driftwood from the lake at Stillpoint; coral from the shores of Belize; and my drawing journal displaying a mandala I created for Mary. I try to visit my mestiza temple daily and sit in silent reflection amidst the visual fronteras of my soul.* Some people call it meditation, others call it contemplation. I learned a long time ago to call it prayer, even when it does not feel like it. *With experiences and devotions in two distinct worlds and not comfortably fitting completely into either, my spirituality embraces mixed traditions; lives in the borderlands. From the poem “To live in the Borderlands means you” by Gloria Anzaldúa in Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Beginning of a Spirituality ~ Part I
within that hour of babble when I knew that I was being named specially among the crowd and recognized - the word was seraphim. And even though it was not Sarah, I knew it meant Sarah because after all, it wasn’t English anyway and that was just the other language’s way of saying Sarah.Sunday, September 14, 2008
dear ann,
and proudly stand alone
...
i read your wisdom
admire your honesty
relate to your feelings
love your wordsmithing
appreciate your theology
enjoy your life-pictures
follow your bliss
while i cannot find my own
...
and then i stop
want no more
...
i envy your insight
resent your vulnerability
desire your approach
begrudge your creativity
covet your faith
spite your gratitude
despise your bliss
while i cannot find my own
...
until i fall once more
and cannot rise alone
...
it seems i have a love/hate relationship with reading your blog ... more accurately, i suspect, it reflects my relationship with myself ... sometimes a prayer; sometimes a swear ... what i would not give to share a comfortable cup of tea with you one day.
blessings,
sarah
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Thank you, Kim
She then put together a Treasury at Etsy entitled A Tribute to Mary ~ check it out here. Thank you, Kim ... you have been an angel of comfort amidst the pain of our loss.
Namaste.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Can Mijo come out to play?
"Mijo, guess who's coming to get you tomorrow?"
Friday, August 29, 2008
... heart of my heart ...
what i’ve done and failed to do?
can i tell you whom i have loved?
the risks involved …
the costs which have been paid …
the shame and the ecstasy?
can you sit with me awhile?

can you hold me ‘til I can feel you?
can you love me as I have loved another?
can you teach me how to love you?
can you rock me in your arms?
can you satiate my desires?
can you remind me who I have been?
who I am
and will become?
can you take my hand in yours?
guide me to a brand new day?
tell me that you love me now
more than yesterday?
just as I am?
no matter where I have been?
because …
right now …
i cannot.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
A Tribute To Mary

Farmington Hills, Michigan
My Dear Mary Helene,
As Isaiah pronounced, “We do indeed sing this day for you. We observe this feast in your honor, as you march with your flute toward the mountain of the Lord.”
What a glorious song your life has composed! Yet, even as I write these words I can hear you saying “I didn’t compose it, I just tried to sing the score God set before me.” In that case, Mary, you certainly have assembled a sizeable choir. It spans the generations … beginning with the young at IHM, “the merest children” as Matthew calls them, and ending with, well, the mature at McAuley. To young and old alike, the Master Teacher’s voice, resounding in your musical ear, was indeed revealed through you. Your harmony was exquisite; your ability, unending; and yet your robe remained simple ~ usually plain ~ and unassuming.
I remember very vividly those first few weeks after entrance. While our three classmates strategized over who could get through candidacy the fastest, you and I retreated to the showers, questioning what we were doing with our lives, and singing our own rendition of Swing Lo in two-part harmony. Years later, when we found ourselves to be the only remaining members of the class of ’82, we smiled, continued to question what we were doing with our lives, and tried to figure out how to fit Swing Lo into a final vow Liturgy.
Music was a passion we shared. We could hum the Michigan fight song in every-other-note duet style, and play trios for the recorder with three instruments and two mouths. We played and sang together often, and talked about the beauty and creativity of the musical word, poetry in motion, and its vast capacity - to heal, to teach, to bring one to tears or to laughter, to leave one speechless with a musical experience.
Perhaps the most powerful musical experience we shared happened in 2005. Amidst chemo treatments, fatigue and nausea, you managed to join me in San Antonio for a weekend of music and work. We scribbled and crossed out, and scribbled again on a pile of paper scraps, which eventually became musical scores and a lovely collection of songs on CD. Best of all, Mar, you finally met Anita face-to-face. And there you shared, two women Religious, teachers, musicians, highly educated and successful, battling the same illness with dignity and determination, comadres in this life, and now in the next.
These past six years, Mary, have certainly been a most challenging rendition of Amazing Grace. You walked courageously and gracefully through many dangers, toils and snares, and in the end, Grace indeed led you quickly and gently home.
If I had to choose just one song to describe your journey through this earthly life, I would choose the traditional Shaker tune, Simple Gifts. For amidst the numerous and prestigious accomplishments you made ~ many of which remain unknown to most ~ you never ceased to be Mary Helene: the fourth of five children, born into a Catholic, Italian (and Irish!) family, who proudly hailed from Motown. Daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, student, musician, teacher … you never lost sight of who you were – ‘Twas your gift to be simple; or from where you had come – ‘Twas your gift to be free; and nothing and no one ever fell below you - To bow and to bend you shan't be ashamed.
Spending this time with you, as you journeyed with and toward the Divine, has been nothing less than Sacred Grace; an enfleshed Eucharistic Moment of bread, blessed, broken, and shared. Your continued concern for the comfort of those around you often reminded me of the stories of the death of Catherine McAuley, foundress of our Mercy congregation. When she was close to death and the Sisters had traveled to gather around her bedside, she whispered “Make sure the Sisters have a comfortable cup of tea when I am gone.”
My God, I am yours for time and eternity.
in your compassionate, tender pity.
Take from my heart all painful anxiety;
let nothing sadden me but sin,
nothing delight me but the hope of coming
in your everlasting kingdom.
Amen.
Until always, Mar …
Sar, ttss
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Three Friends
Kim made these darling little friends for me to give to my friend, Mary, who was struggling through the final days of her earthly life.*
The first lil' pixie is Sarah. She is needle felted of hand painted roving. She carries a little nature journal in one hand and a tiny quill. In the other hand she carries a tiny piece of fabric to quilt, in Mary's blue, with tiny stars and pine cones, and has a needle felted little bird nest for a hat.
Mary's fairy is in a beautiful forget-me-not blue roving with her slippers strapped to her side, a tiny yellow glass seed bead on each ~ she has taken them off now that she has begun to sprout wings. She carries a journal with three friends on the cover, along with her flute. She has a Swarovski crystal butterfly in her hair.
Karen's lil' pixie has tiny green glasses to match her dress and shoes. The bottom of her dress is decorated with hand painted mohair locks and a needle felted heart is on the skirt. A little acorn cap adorns her head. She carries a wooden heart button and a miniature Harry Potter, The Goblet of Fire.
Karen and Sarah have no wings and their shoes are still firmly in place. As such they can walk with Mary along her journey, but only until her wings take flight.
Mary's wings did indeed take flight early this morning. The earth-angel of the little group has transitioned into the next life and is being deeply missed by Karen and Sarah.
*Unfortunately, the three friends did not arrive in time to meet Mary on this plane, so I will gift them to Karen in hopes that they might help to bring a smile to her face once more.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
It's coming ... a new school year ...
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
"Within this barrio" ...
Within this barrio [neighborhood] I am living and learning a life of which I have never experienced. Sweeping frogs from underneath the bed at sundown before retiring for the evening, and chasing cats from the kitchen at sun-up having entered through the window, looking for a bite to eat. Embracing children with lice-ridden heads, and filth encrusted noses and bodies from weeks without a bath. Houses with no running water and little more than bundled cardboard for walls and a ceiling; dusty, dirty, pebble and mud roads whose rising clouds of dry earth never seem to dissipate.
Last evening Marcela and I went to visit a family of the parish living in the next barrio. There were 12 children ranging in age from 9 months to 20 years. The mother is 33 years old. The father works in the chakras [fruit orchards] collecting fruit, but has not been paid for three months. If he does not continue to work, he will lose his job to one of the men who line-up each morning hoping to replace an absent or ill worker from the prior day. So he continues to work each day without pay.
The family lives in a two-room home, very crudely put together with a hard dirt-packed floor. We sat in the kitchen taking maté [a strong herbal tea drunk from a dried gourd and sucked from a metal straw] with 10 of the 12 children wide-eyed and hanging on every word. I spoke as much Spanish as I could possibly muster and drank enough maté, made from water taken from an old plastic bucket set on the floor beside the mother, until I thought my bladder
would burst. I knew I could not ask to use the bathroom because there wasn’t one, and they would have been ashamed to show me the hole dug outside. I tried to pretend like I had been in houses like theirs all of my life; that the hoards of flies encircling the room and covering the sweetbread dough being fried and served us were of no bother to me whatsoever. I tried to maintain eye contact with the children instead of noticing the far from eye-pleasing physical conditions around me. I felt ashamed at my dis-ease and hoped it was not showing. Never had I experienced a poverty so cold and so obvious; nor had I ever experienced a welcome so warm and filled with such peace and gratitude. That evening I cried myself to sleep and prayed for a day when I would be able to notice the people so intensely that the physical surroundings would melt somewhere in the background of my unconsciousness.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Grace
I spread my poncho wide
And beckoned my soul take rest
In a piercing gaze it held me
Uneasy by the queer request

Silently we remained in expectation
Of that which neither one knew
Like a work in patient progress
Before its creator is through
When slowly, cautiously my heart settled
And courage made present its place
The tear-stained words I uttered
From shame transformed into grace
A grace amazing and musical
Its melody comforting and known
Freely, in love unconditional
I knew I’d finally come home
Saturday, July 26, 2008
random act of kindness ... conscious act of ignorance
I remember well waiting for buses in the summer sun … arriving at the bus stop sticky from the walk to get me there; searching for some small piece of unoccupied shade where I could plant myself for the wait; hoping that the next bus still had seats available so I could put myself back together before arriving at my final destination. The light turned green, I turned the corner passing the woman, still seated and I hoped enjoying a small bit of comfort from the cool cement.
I was in no hurry and enjoying the cooled-air of my comfortable car. How did I do it all those years without air conditioning? I wondered. I turned at the next corner, and the next, and two more after that until I was stopped directly in front of the woman, still seated on the sidewalk waiting for the bus. I rolled down my window and inquired, Would you like a ride? She could not hear me so she rose to her feet and started toward the car. Would you like a ride? I repeated. She looked at me with puzzled eyes, still grasping the cell phone she’d been playing with in her hands.
No, that’s ok. I’m going to Southfield was her response.
I’m going that way I offered again.
Still looking puzzled, more likely suspicious of my offer, I added It’s ok, really, I’m harmless.
OK, she replied, if you’re sure.
She got in the car and continued the texting correspondence she’d started on her phone while introducing herself to me as Georgia. In the 8 minutes it took to get to her destination, I found out she was the mother of 4, held 3 jobs, and had been called into work on her day off because the till was missing a considerable amount of money. It was her job to figure out who had depleted the till and call him/her to accountability. When we arrived at her place of employment, I wished her luck with her investigation. She thanked me for the ride and headed toward the door, still texting with her phone.
I was so glad I'd stopped and hoped she was, too. I would tell no one and save myself the lectures about picking-up strangers and the like ... Words that would turn my minute and randon act of kindness into an enormous and conscious act of ignorance.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
health and happiness ...
Smile. It is the ultimate antidepressent.
Live with the 3 E's ~ Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
Dream while you are awake.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Speaking of quilts ...
Speaking of quilts … Tipper of Blind Pig and The Acorn recently wrote about her love for the Appalachian quilts she’s been gifted with since childhood. She ended her post with the question “Do you have a favorite quilt?” which tugged at my heartstrings …
My Mamaw (called "Maw" by her northern grandchildren) worked at a shirt factory and brought home bags of scraps that my Great-Mamaw and Great-Aunts made into quilts.
This quilt was made for me by my great Aunt (who was also my Godmother) and was a Christmas present when I was a child. It has been used and washed and remade over the years a million times and is still my favorite. I still use it today, although one that I made now lives atop my bed.
This is a much older one made by my Great-Aunts that I was given after their deaths and it sits on a chair in my livingroom, along with a rag doll that I got when I was 6. She has a wind-up music box that still plays London Bridges. These are the things I would grab as I left the house if there ever was a fire.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Quilt Giveaway!
OK, here's the deal! Dana over at Old Red Barn Co. is having a QUILT GIVEAWAY and it's free to enter! Just head over to her blog and leave a comment. She is one generous person from whom all of us could take a lesson.
































